My Koleq Life

My Alma Mater

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Big School

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Masa Form 1 (pakai short tu pegi sekolah!)

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Masa Form 5

This 26th March, my beloved school will be holding the Grand Centenary Celebration Day, commemorating the 100th year of its establishment. Coincidentally, my batch is also celebrating our 10th anniversary after finishing Form 5. It has been a lifelong tradition for each of the thoroughbreds to have a reunion after 10 years back at Kuala Kangsar, where we spent 5 years of our teenage life as a budak ‘koleq’. My batch is going back this year. The question is, am I?

10 years…just by saying those words might seem like it’s a long time, but having passed it and looking back i wonder how time passes me by without me noticing it. 10 years…and a lot of the memories is still fresh in my mind. The times I spent, the friends I had, the raggings I endured, the school rules that I broke just for the sake of breaking it, the happy moments, the not-so-happy moments, the dull moments, the downright pathetic moments, the feeling-like-a-loser moments, the unforgettable moments, the moments that later defined my life until now…all of it now turns into one big slideshow in my mind, flashing up in my head now and then.

Given enough space and time I can brag constantly about my school and its greatness, in which of course many will detest. Not that I mind objections, but I rather think that it’s inappropriate. Naturally, every person will say that their school is the greater one because of the reason so and so, thus I believe it’s best to leave the perceptions to ourselves. I’d rather tell about the memories I had, especially those in which you and I can learn from. One of them goes like this…

Once when I was in Form 5, I was cordially invited to ‘fly’ to me and my friends hangout located about half a kilometre outside the school compound. I’ve ‘flown’ there a number of times before…but this time it was different. The challenge was to ‘fly’ in broad daylight during afternoon prep hours. To make it more challenging, in order to reach the meeting point, I had to follow the main road passing through my school. No hiding around the bushes or following the ‘jalan denai’ tracks. If I get caught, I’d have zero chance of escaping, detention class will be a certainty, public canning a possibility. But the temptation is hard to resist. The excitement is real. Plus my friend’s word were so convincing, i couldn’t say no.

So here was the strategy. My friend will go first, passing thru the school gates and walking casually as if he’s supposed to be outside. If he gets caught, then I will be saved and he would bear the consequences himself. If everything goes well, exactly 5 minutes after, I shall follow suit. At first, the strategy went as planned. All I had to do was reach the oak tree and after that I would be well camouflaged. But that was not to be. My friend succeeded but I did not. As soon as I saw him went passed the tree, came a familiar face riding a motorbike from my opposite direction. It was my warden; Cikgu Fairuz a.k.a Pai-Lang, one of the most notorious and brutal warden that graced college’s soil during my time. He saw me spot on.

I was in panic. I had to think of something. A logical explanation. A permissible excuse. Otherwise, there might be a ‘pelempang’ stuck on my face before anything else. An idea struck my mind and without hesitation I instantly gripped my stomach as if in pain.

It was at first thought, a brilliant idea. Coincidentally the road I’m taking is also the road to the hospital. And coincidentally also it was a Thursday, the day of the week when the matron (school nurse) will take all the sick students to the hospital. They already left by 2.30 p.m. The time then was 3.15 p.m. My reason would be I had a sudden stomach ache and since the matron ‘left’ me and I couldn’t withstand the pain, I had to go by foot.

My beloved Mr. Pai-Lang was riding with his wife at the backseat. He immediately slowed down when he saw me and stopped by the roadside.

P-L: Kenapa ni?
Me : Sakit perut cikgu. Nak pegi hospital.
P-L: Kenapa tak ikut matron tadi?
Me : Tak sempat cikgu.

P-L: Takpe, biar saya hantar awak. (Turned to his wife) Awak turun dulu, abang anta budak ni kejap, nanti abang amik awak balik.

So he brought me to the hospital. I was happy at first, thinking he would leave me at the hospital and I know I can survive pretty well if I’m left there all alone. But no. For some unknown reason, he decided to stay and wait until I registered and went to the doctor’s room. He even accompanied me himself. I had no choice but to lie all the way.

Doctor: “Adik sakit apa?”
Me : (…what else is the answer?)
Doctor: “Sakit kat belah mana?
Me : (Lemme think, appendics is on the right, gastric on the left..) Tengah2 Dr.

Doctor: Ok, baring (finger pointing on bed)
Then he ketuk2 my perut..
Doctor: Ok dik, ni ubat adik amik kat farmasi, tp sblm tu adik kena injection dulu kat wad bedah.

@#$%! I cursed myself. So much for my ‘brilliant’ idea. As I opened the door, I secretly prayed that Pai-Lang would be gone already. How can God answer the prayer of a liar like me? He was there, in front of the doctor’s room, waiting for me just like a caring father would. So, cutting my long story short, I got stabbed with the injection needle, in the BUTT!

Up until this day, I ‘ll still smile whenever I think of it. Deep inside, I feel grateful to have a teacher like him, a hardcase on the outside but caring on the inside. Or maybe he knew I was trying to fool him and he just decided to play along…who knows? (The thought of it makes me grin wider). But to Pai-Lang, wherever u are, thank u. Semoga Allah merahmatiMu. I got my lesson. And lessons for those of you out there,

1. DON’T LIE!!! You never know when it can come stab you at the butt..err..i mean back.
2. If you desperately need to lie, PLAN your lies carefully. Planning is everything!!!



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